As a woman with a naturally large bust, I second this. Girls with large busts are subject to a lot of really shitty behaviors and expected to just deal with it. The answer we get from adults is often along the lines of "you need to dress in a way that makes them less obvious", in other words, "it's your fault". It gets a bit better on…
As a woman with a naturally large bust, I second this. Girls with large busts are subject to a lot of really shitty behaviors and expected to just deal with it. The answer we get from adults is often along the lines of "you need to dress in a way that makes them less obvious", in other words, "it's your fault". It gets a bit better once you're an adult, but you also encounter people who wave it off because supposedly a large bust is valued in society.
It seems deeply misogynistic to treat this as a problem of girls and women with large busts rather than as a problem with (mostly) men treating girls and women based on their appearance.
It's not misogynistic, it's practical? You can easily tell your daughter what to do to minimize the issue on her side of things; it's literally impossible to tell all males everywhere your daughter might go to behave themselves. That's not to say that society *shouldn't* still communicate to men and boys that such behavior is unacceptable, but that's a multi-year project -- it's not going to do anything to prevent some random guy from shouting, "Looking good, chesty" at your daughter as she walks down the street tomorrow.
Unquestionably she had to learn to dismiss unsolicited attention and her clothing choices are still deliberate.
The boys’ friends on the other hand were far too invasive until we spoke to them, one going so far as to enter her room early one morning. For a few not even the conversation worked.
It was a situation of young male hormones run rampant in the midst of a young woman and we understood, which is why we had to put a stop to the boys’ friends staying overnight for a while. As I said, everyone survived.
All that to say these issues are a common part of adolescence, not a symptom of mental illness requiring mastectomies.
As a woman with a naturally large bust, I second this. Girls with large busts are subject to a lot of really shitty behaviors and expected to just deal with it. The answer we get from adults is often along the lines of "you need to dress in a way that makes them less obvious", in other words, "it's your fault". It gets a bit better once you're an adult, but you also encounter people who wave it off because supposedly a large bust is valued in society.
It seems deeply misogynistic to treat this as a problem of girls and women with large busts rather than as a problem with (mostly) men treating girls and women based on their appearance.
We had more than one uncomfortable conversation with our sons’ friends about that very thing.
It's not misogynistic, it's practical? You can easily tell your daughter what to do to minimize the issue on her side of things; it's literally impossible to tell all males everywhere your daughter might go to behave themselves. That's not to say that society *shouldn't* still communicate to men and boys that such behavior is unacceptable, but that's a multi-year project -- it's not going to do anything to prevent some random guy from shouting, "Looking good, chesty" at your daughter as she walks down the street tomorrow.
Unquestionably she had to learn to dismiss unsolicited attention and her clothing choices are still deliberate.
The boys’ friends on the other hand were far too invasive until we spoke to them, one going so far as to enter her room early one morning. For a few not even the conversation worked.
It was a situation of young male hormones run rampant in the midst of a young woman and we understood, which is why we had to put a stop to the boys’ friends staying overnight for a while. As I said, everyone survived.
All that to say these issues are a common part of adolescence, not a symptom of mental illness requiring mastectomies.