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Corinna's avatar

I am trans and I'm going to spill the tea here on Jesse.

2016 — I became aware of Jesse Singal's writings on trans issues. I thought they were nuanced, well researched, and tried to include multiple points of view. I started following him on Twitter and would keep an eye out on his posts. At some point during the year I must have contacted him on Twitter to tell him I had a critical view of gender ideology.

2017 (May) — I had an email exchange with Jesse worked on a story that involved detransition. He sent me an excerpt of the draft which incorporated a mainstream trans view and asked for my feedback. I sent him some notes on a gender critical perspective, which he thanked me for and _did not use_. Come on Jesse, what about my labor? The email exchange was perfectly professional and polite.

2018 — Learning that Jesse was working on a piece related to gender dysphoric children, I forwarded him an email exchange I had with Kristina R Olson, where I extended an offer to have conversations with her about what happens when teen transitioners grow up, and of her declining the offer.

2018 — Jesse was receiving harassment from a politically manipulative activist who I had tangled with before. I reached out to Jesse, had a phone call with him to relate my experiences and this person's tactics, and the phone call, although friendly, was polite and professional.

2019 — I reached out to Jesse about a bonkers NYT article about "TERFs" which Jesse relayed his frustration that the conversation about the conflict of rights between women and trans people was being collapsed into accusations of bigotry. I replied with a castigation that he had been supportive of an known ideological culture warrior having been brought on to the NYT opinion editorial board. Jesse replied "Everything's Terrible".

Well you can see now that over time Jesse and I are getting more friendly.

You'll never guess what happens *next*,

2020 — Jesse and Katie start Blocked and Reported. I join as a patron to listen to a podcast which makes me feel some relief that I'm not the only irreverent person interested in social and political issues. On the "Patron's Questions" features I ask Jesse if he's worried about institutional capture of illiberal culture warriors. Jesse provides a naive yet hopeful response.

I have had more than a handful of interactions with Jesse Singal. He has never been anything less than professional. He has never made a creepy comment, never asked a creepy question, has never signaled any prurient interest in my life or experience. My only criticism of Jesse is that he is SO COMMITTED to nuance and hearing both sides that he has allowed himself to be twisted around by people with personality disorders when he ought to be standing his ground.

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Ron Gordon's avatar

Jesse,

I want to begin by apologizing. I am a parent of a trans guy. He is now almost 20 and doing marvelously. He came out to us at 13; we did some medical transitioning in high school. So I have been a part of the trans parent community for a while now. And I have been fully aware of the lies being spread about you by my fellow activists, and the only thing I did about it was leave a parent support group**.

I read your 2016 Atlantic article. It wasn't easy. The thought that we might be making a mistake was terrifying. But I read it anyway. And I tried to find places where what you were saying was outright false or misleading. I didn't see it.

People have tried to convince me that you were poison and I should either just ignore you or, better yet, join them in denouncing you. I love my kid fiercely and I have and will continue to zealously advocate for him and for other trans families, but I cannot and will not lie and defame to do so. I will not ignore or dismiss published scientific results obtained out in good faith and according to accepted experimental protocols, even if they "hurt us."

As you know, what you are seeing is fear. People who are confident in who they are and what they are doing do not react like a cornered animal. Not everything trans allies want is necessarily good for the country as a whole. I for one think it is OK to discuss the conditions under which it is fair for someone with a huge amount of testosterone to compete in women's sports. I liked Andrew Sullivan's idea of "bimodal gender," that, yes, there are predominantly male and female genders.

I am not going to agree with you all the time. I transitioned my kid in high school because, we were told, it would make his life much easier in the long term. I agree this was risky, but we thought it was worth it. And for us, this risk paid off: as I said, my son is doing marvelously. I do not regret what we did for a second. But the fear that I did him wrong is there - I am sure every parent of a trans kid has that fear. It is the fear of being wrong about something major and of the consequences of being wrong - in this case, the stakes are insanely high. But in the end, that fear is no excuse to be an evil liar and slanderer. And the time to remain quiet about it ends now.

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