The Parable Of The Friendly But Conspiratorial Lyft Driver
A scene from Halloween involving vices like alcohol, gambling, and condescension
I was in L.A. during Halloween, so my friend invited me to join him, his wife, and his two very cute and fun daughters at a friend’s house, where we’d eat and drink, and then go out trick-or-treating with everyone’s kids. I had no costume because I was traveling and was lazy, so the family donated me the 5′2″ wife’s pizza costume, which she didn’t need this year.
We trick-or-treated in a nice, middle-class neighborhood where a lot of folks who work in the film and TV industries live. As you can imagine, this group has a flair for the dramatic and the theatrical, so some of the decorations were rather elaborate and impressive, like this guy.
There were also several households that joined forces to build a haunted house that had such high production values it was like the sort of place you’d drive 45 minutes to visit on some New Hampshire farm if you grew up in Boston. I went in there with my friend and his older daughter (the younger one got spooked and stayed behind, which was probably the right move). A guy wearing a mask and holding a knife (plastic, I hope!) walked menacingly toward us. Some sort of animatronic hand reached out from a wall. There was a lot of fog and with every step it felt like there would be some new jump scare, because there usually was. It was great.
A fun time was had by all that night — by the kids because, well, it was Halloween, and by the adults because the kids were cute and the booze flowed plentifully. But my story really starts with my Lyft ride back to my hotel.