Denying Sex Differences Doesn’t Actually Help People, Part One Million

There was something big missing from a New York Times article about a common sex problem couples encounter: sex

The New York Times recently published an article by reporter Catherine Pearson headlined “When One Partner Wants Sex More Than the Other.” Subheadline: “Libido differences are a common part of relationships, sex therapists say. Here’s how to manage.” Seems helpful for couples in this situation!

It’s an interesting and touching article, to be sure, that features real-life stories. With an assist from sex therapist types and other experts, Pearson helps people better understand this phenomenon and what to do about it. She writes that “Many factors can influence libido: interpersonal dynamics, physical and mental health, the social messages around sexuality that people absorb during childhood and adolescence. The list goes on, and there are seldom easy fixes. But Dr. Fogel Mersy and other experts said more communication could help couples bridge gaps in sexual desire.” Another expert is paraphrased as saying that libidinal differences could be attributed to “anything from relationship concerns to work stress.”

I couldn’t help but notice a certain omission, though: the article contains no mention of sex differences. Absent are any of the terms men, women, male(s), female(s), or any discussion of sex hormones like estrogen and testosterone.

I don’t want to risk falling into the “She didn’t write the article I wanted her to write!” critique trap, because that’s silly, but aren’t these strange concepts to leave out given the subject? After all, the vast majority of couples are heterosexual, and we have a ton of evidence to suggest men have higher sex drives than women.