The First Annual Singal-Minded For-Entertainment-Purposes-Only Nonpartisan Guide To Resolving Thanksgiving Family Drama And Aggressively Neutering The Personalities Of Difficult Loved Ones

If you only read one thing this lifetime, make sure it's this newsletter

Thanksgiving! Ever since the holiday was kickstarted by the original meeting of pilgrim and Native American in the very state from which I am writing this — a meeting which, if my public-school education is correct, led to hundreds of years of peaceful coexistence and mutual profit for both groups and their descendants — this day has been about getting …